Experiment in Sharpie and watercolor.

I love the woods. But, as I've spoke of before, where do you start?

I just started with lines. And then added color. I'm not sure about it, but theres some decent things happening here. Its worth another try, at least.

Breakroom Series, #2

#2,   5" by 8" on drawing paper.

I'm a cashier. 

I'm grappling with that a bit this week.

This painting doesn't really help. 

I was all excited for my break time. "Here's my chance to be brilliant." My chance to take a slice of my day an do something amazing. I was hoping to find some left-behind object of a co-worker. 

Nope. And no time to ruminate on what was in front of me, do I dragged out this enormous broken juicer and put it in next to me on the floor. 

This is where the "work" part of being an artist comes in. 

I keep thinking about the quote by author Isabel Allende: "Show up, Show up, Show up, and after a while the muse will show up, too." 

This is me showing up. This is me trusting that this "muse" will appear. 

This is me doing this for real, without encouragement, without reassurance, without a pat on the back. 

New Series: Breakroom

I thought it would be an interesting thing to use my 30 minute break at work to work on still life from around the breakroom at the store where I work.

Its such a collection of weirdness. Jackets and waterbottles and mailboxes crammed with name tags and chapsticks, and cell phones. Juicer parts, half-eaten cakes...its the sum of all the people in the store. And its generally in complete disorder.

I will work in ink and watercolor, and I work 4 days a week.

Here's my number one:

This was on drawing paper. They will be on drawing paper until I can afford watercolor paper. #starvingartist 

On Abstraction.

When I back to school in 2009, I took my first college art class. It was Elementary Drawing and Design. The one everyone has to take.

I soon got addicted to the environment and the drawing itself. I'd drawn all my life, but the class gave me the structure and the feedback I needed to get better.

After a few classes I got the distinct feeling that I was meant to do something with all this. I had enrolled in an Intermediate painting class, as was the next in the progression for an Art Major. We had a project where we had to do our first "non-objective" piece. We'd done some abstractions of still lives, and I really struggled with them. I was so locked into the realism of painting, I couldn't break out. I was good at painting forms. I was good at light and contrast. I could make nice paintings of flowers and jars.

To tell me to make something that isn't something was a huge problem.

So I started making paint sketches. Blobby, stupid looking rainbow sketches. It all felt stupid and forms started showing up.

We were given a sentence to inspire us. Mine was "Losing his grip." So of course, my first instinct was to draw an open fist. My professor just shook her head at me.

Eventually something came forth

It was a paint sketch on butcher paper, but something SPOKE. And it didn't hurt that my professor came by and expressed her approval.

 And then,  I produced my first TRUE abstract.

"Losing His Grip" 2011, 23 by 23 on board. Ask for Price.

From there, I got inspired, and this same "form" showed up everywhere. In my notebooks, in other paintings, in quick watercolor sketches. 

Small notebook cover- ink and watercolor. Never for sale. 

Untitled Watercolor,  2011. 9 by 11 inches.on watercolor paper

Abstracted Still life. 2011 24 by 48 on canvas

Part II of Red Chair. 2011. 24 by 24 on canvas

And I keep going. When I'm confused and frustrated, I take out a Sharpie and paper and just move the pen. They always start out feeling ridiculous- as though I shouldn't waste the time or the paper. But them, things emerge and I start to feel it. 

18 by 24 drawing, with watercolor.

 And here's this mornings improvisation.

I feel like I'm getting somewhere with these, though I am often met with the question, "What is it?" 

I am trying to answer that question myself. 

Drawing ALL THE TIME.

 I used to do it all the time, I mean- when you you are a kid in school- you always have paper and a pen or pencil. I rarely STOPPED drawing. I was drawing when I was supposed to be taking notes. I was drawing in church. I was drawing during tests and on napkins in restaurants and in my room whilst watching Star Trek movies.

And then one day I noticed that I wasn't. I stopped having that pen and paper, and when I did, it seemed like I was pressured to do something SERIOUS with these materials. And thats terrifying!

We went to a park yesterday so my son play a little soccer and so the girls could check out the play structure. I came armed with paper, pens, paint....whatever I could need to put something on paper. I started with a pen- and just started scratching out some trees I was looking at. Its so overwhelming! Where do you start when there is a forest of green. You can't really see any ONE leaf. I just scratched out the mass of one.

Then my daughter came over and asked for a piece of paper. A piece of my good drawing paper. She rummaged through my pencil case and found one of my woodless graphite pencils. "I'm going to draw the trees. And that creek."

And off she went with out an excuse or turning back.

As I was sketching my tree, I could help to put down a little gesture of her.

It's been a while since I've done a pen-and-ink gesture of anyone. I forgot how much I love doing it.

You just make a mess with little lines and specks. Its amazing how well you can build mass and form with just a skinny tipped pen.

She asked if she could use my water colors. I said it was fine, but I'd forgotten water. I had a little left in my water bottle, but then, it started sprinkling- and just that little bit of water gave both of us enough water to color our pictures.

 She got quite bold with the colors.

 The rain drops added a nice effect on our pieces.

 I was happy with my little drawing, and even happier than my little one wanted to join me. I guess I could have just played on the playground with them, but, I think its good for them to see me doing this, and to have them create with me. Right?

Welcome to my process.

Yes. Welcome.

I don't live a regular life. I may have a husband and kids and a regular job, but there are things missing. Things like clean socks. I never know whats going on in a week. I can't be relied on to send a birthday card.

Why? Because I am forever lost in the process of creating. Whether that be writing one of my alway-under-construction novels, learning a new song on the ukulele, or painting something I was feeling.

So, come along with me and find out whats its like to live in magic. Where everything speaks back to you, where everything is woven into the process of creating.

I've created this blog to not only show off the things I'm painting/drawing/playing/writing, but to draw you into the feelings that lead me there.